8.22.09

It's really hot in NYC. It's so hot, people are complaining about it. Imagine that. People complaining about something they can't control. Personally, I like this kinda weather. It puts things in perspective. Like who's an asshole that can't just drink a glass of water when it gets too hot.

6.4.09

I used to smoke a lot of weed. I can't smoke anymore. If I smoked weed I would start freaking out. I would start thinking about all the wrong things. Like what my head tastes like. That's the wrong thing to think about when you're stoned. That's the wrong thing to think about when you're not stoned. SHIT! AM I STONED????

??????????????????????

5.30.09

Okay okay okay okay. I know I'm supposed to blog more often. No excuses.

I slack. I just turned 30 years old and I still slack. I am not afraid of age. Some people are. I don't know why. When you get old your brain goes up and your body goes down. It's weird. I pee more times a day then I think I'm supposed to. Is that age related? I do drink a lot of coffee and water (and beer). I should stop putting so much fluid into my body. At this rate I'll be wearing diapers when I'm 40. Maybe 45. I won't even be getting up so often to go to the bathroom. But I slack. So maybe it's a good thing.

4.5.09

I have a day job. So do you. Everyone works during the day (or something). But really, I have a job during the day. It's not so bad. Sometimes I don't know if I fit in there. Like when there's some sort of event with free food, I'm usually the troll who rushes to be the first one there. Is there one of those at every job? I'm that guy at mine. Also, I don't take it as seriously as I should. Like when I'm supposed to be doing something I'm usually not. There's definitely one of those at every job.

Usually it's called the Human Resources department. Zing...

4.2.09

People like to hide behind brand names. I think that's funny for some reason. In previous centuries a man draped in Chinese silk was considered of great importance. Ditto for other regions and other fabrics. Today, any asshole can wear an Armani T-shirt. He's not that important. Trust me, he's not. And any ol' twirl can get a pair of Prada sunglasses. She is not important. Just because you're donned in those fashionable duds doesn't mean you're any different than the rest of us. Well, except for the uncontrollable insecurity. And your out-of-place desire to judge others who are probably way more intelligent than you.

Hell, at one point Jack Kerouac was considered a bum for wearing khakis.

3.5.09

I've been having a bad week. Not sleeping. Wondering about the future. Thinking about shit. Sometimes I listen to other people talk about having a bad day. They say things like they couldn't find their keys. Or they just missed the train. Or the line at Cosi was too long. That's not a bad day. Those are a series of unfortunate events. One time I started daydreaming about what my funeral would be like, then I wished physical harm on one of my ex-girlfriends, then I only had enough money to buy one slice of pizza, then I went out and was ignored all night by everyone.

Then I missed the train. That was a bad day.

2.28.09

I like hot people. Everybody likes hot people. They never do anything wrong. People like smart people, too. But they like hot people more. John Stamos gets more blow jobs than Martti Ahtisaari. John Stamos was Uncle Jessie on the sitcom, Full House. He had really nice hair, then dated that supermodel, then...then...I don't know what he did after that. Probably got a lot of blow jobs if I had to guess. Martii Ahtisaari won the Nobel Peace Prize. He helped other countries get independence and tried to prevent a lot of violence from happening. But that's all he did. And he's an ugly mutt. He doesn't get a lot of blow jobs.